Wilderness

I'm loosing all my rights,
I'm doubting my own mind.
I'm loosing myself,
Because of my silly little lies.

Is it fair?
To pull these memories from my brain?
To make me feel like I'm crazy?
And I dreamt up each and every day.

I find myself in silence,
Faced with walls you put up high,
You block me out, lock me out,
Make me feel I did something wrong,
For god sake, some has died.

Why are we fighting?
Does any of it matter now?
Can't you hear me?
My fear.
Screaming.
I love you.
My heart is breaking.
I need to keep you close.
Because your the ones I love the most.
But your fading into the distance,
Like she has,
Just become another ghost.

I've had punishments,
From courts, from love.
From powers above.
Yours is everlasting.
Taking my memories,
Taking my nostalgia,
Taking it all away.

They took my shoes laces,
They took my engagement ring.
And your taking whats left of me.
My love.
My family.

You say I broke your heart,
With who I am,
What I turned out to be.
But I'm not the monster you paint so well,
I'm not.
I'm the little girl you wanted,
I'm just 20 years too late.

I won't keep apologising,
Because it wasn't all my fault,
You can lock me out,
You can shut me out,
You can tell everyone I'm the demon,
That broke you with lies and disguise,
We both know thats not true.
That your faux-chivalry and heart ache are a facade,
Because we both got burnt when the fire took it all.

Stop pretending I don't exist.
Because I'm here.
I'm everything I want to be.
And I will keep pushing
I will keep trying
Because I won't let time take you too.
I won't answer the phone to find out you were next.
That I can't go to a church,
I can't hold your hand,
I can't love you,
Don't you understand?

I'm trying to salvage,
Whats left of the life I had before,
I'm trying to show you it doesn't have to be this way anymore.

Life's too short for mistakes and hate,
I'm your daughter,
And I'm pretty fucking great.