Ban the box

So, last night, a job I quite fancied called me, brilliant conversation, really productive, with a date for this Friday set to go through the motions and to have a proper chat about what they could do for me and I could do for them. It was a great opportunity, 25k, company car, real growth prospects. 

The Barker Baker is still a huge part of my life, and for as long as people want to hear me speak and want me to teach, that is who I will be, but in a time that requires stability and security, self employment is too fluctuating for the commitments I have and the life that I'm building.

Needless to say, I was pretty gutted when I got this text today.

This is the second time in just a few weeks I've been cut down from a job that I thought would be a dead cert, I've got the right qualifications - impressive on paper, with a job history to die for, with references to boot; so to be point blank rejected due to my criminal conviction has left me feeling pretty gutted.

I have often written about how there are two pieces of paper that define me, one being an impressive CV - which incidentally, has grown more impressive POST conviction, and the other being my criminal conviction for 2013. For a first time offence might I add. 

I can see why people are passionate about the "ban the box" disclosure policy, it's debilitating, it's stress inducing, and ultimately, its humiliating.  

My conviction is not the worlds best kept secret, I decided the best way to control my mistakes would be to admit them, of course I took that to another level when creating The Barker Baker, a business built entirely on the premise of being an offender, knowing I was someone serving a suspended sentence and limited in terms of job prospects with compulsory probation and drug rehabilitation commitments. I knew no-one would be willing to take someone so fresh out of a court room on. With the beautiful twist of fate, it was probation that sparked my passion and opened the door to a solution - self employment. I could control my own fate, and I did, for a good few years, but then business became more about me than my message, which meant it needed a break. I needed a break. I needed space from the machine I had created. 

To re-evaluate why it wasn't what it should have been.

In this time of rethinking and rehabilitating, I decided a new journey was needed, a new direction, a challenge. 

So, a dusting off of the old CV, an updated LinkedIn, some online courses to get to grips with things I needed and wanted to brush up on - and off I went. The problem being - I had no idea what I wanted to do.

I promised myself after my conviction I wouldn't live a life of mediocre again, I wouldn't do something without passion and purpose. 

I want to write, so perhaps something journalistic, copywriting, PR, media - my only experience being this blog, and the interactions I've had with the media through articles, radio, tv. 

A little over reaching I think. Dare to dream.

Social care, charities, community groups, I am passionate about people, about helping people be the best they can be - a huge part of the business and a huge part of who I am. So it was logical to apply for jobs helping others.

Politics - mad about politics, local, national, with a focus on criminal justice and how to change the system for the better. Same problem, after graduating, I worked in London, I was an academic, I was good at it. Once I set my mind to something, I do it and I do it well. No, I do it brilliantly. Once I want to learn and achieve something, I do it better than most. If there is one thing I excel at, it is being the best at what I set my mind to.

So when I got the call last night for the marketing job I wanted, it was spot on, food, marketing, people, engagement, travel. They were excited, I was excited. Then BOOM. Conviction. Not interested. Best of luck.

I find it fascinating. In the life I have had after my conviction, I have achieved more than most could dare to dream. Why then, is that my stumbling block? Surely from an employers perspective, someone who has triumphed over adversity, someone has created something of purpose through drive, hard work, self motivation, those are good qualities? Employ-ability qualities?

I used the worst parts of myself to spring board the best parts of me.

I work hard. Really hard.

I give anything I do, my full.

I dedicate myself entirely to a cause or a purpose and always strive for the best outcome.

I am fiercely independent but somehow an avid team player.

My qualifications are great.

My job history is great - eclectic, but great.

My references are impeccable.

So what the hell is going on?

When my conviction becomes spent, employers won't be able to black ball me, by law. So why should they be allowed to now? I have paid my dues, I have done as I should have.

The irony is, when my conviction becomes spent, it doesn't really. Put my name into google, my life history comes up, this blog is an example of that. Thats my point.

I am strangely proud of my conviction - it is a battle scar of my mistakes, of my history, of my bad choices. It is the benchmark I live up to every day. The measure of decency, kindness and honour.

It is what defined me - for the better, not for the worse.

So why don't other people see it that way?