Pause for thought

What a night.
So humbling.... I'm overwhelmed really, a room full of beautiful hearts and resilient minds.
A girl tapped me on the shoulder while I was at the bar and said "Are you TheBarkerBaker?" and that she was an avid reader of this blog and she found me to be an inspiration.
Well. I was stunned. What a lovely thing for someone to say, even if it did leave me feeling a little lost.
I am so proud to have found the strength to address all that was wrong in my life, bit by bit, taking it apart and building it bigger and better than ever before. I heard people's stories today at the Mind Charity event and I had to look at the floor for some of it so as not to draw attention to the tear in my eye.
Such bravery. Where do we find the power to stand tall and face our demons and then go the extra mile to exorcise them in public in the hope that in doing so it inspires someone to do the same, find the hope, the better day, the real tomorrow.
Claire Symonds said she was ashamed, ashamed to be so broken. If I could have hugged a woman I'd never met without it being completely weird, I would have dashed across the room and the stage and just given her a bloody squeeze.
Broken. A word that packs such a punch.
I am broken. I have been broken for a long time. I've been resentful of it, I've hated myself for it, I've blamed other people for it, but it's only recently that I've come to be OK with it.
So I've baggage a plenty and a horror story of a past, should it be my undoing and the destruction of my future? Of course bloody not.
I lived in such shame, scared to talk about it, scared to admit it, for a girl with a lack of identity to admit she was broken... would that be my only label? Not much of a way to move forward when having a tagline like that.
And lo' I'm here, I am strong, I am proud. We are incredible and we are strong.
A room full of people, all muddling their way through life, up hill struggles, heartbreak and hurt, damage to the soul and to the body, we are broken.
We came together with that in common and we move forward with it in our hearts, to recover, to regain, to live.
I met a girl when I was at University, we passed through the years, she had her secrets and I had mine, it's only today we saw eachother for who we really were and it was something quite beautiful.
She is beautiful with an energy for change that just makes you want to be involved!
And so, I baked, I sold, we made some money for a great charity, but it's me that came away with the real prize, I got to see I'm not alone, I shouldn't have suffered in silence and that I never have to.

A few loaves and a few words, giving to charity soothes the soul, especially if its a guilt burdened as mine for the things that I have done.

I will always have an open heart to the people who need it, a loaf, an ear, a hand, a hug.
Thank you for reading, and thank you to all of you who told me how much these words mean to you in times of darkness and light.

<3