Happy Easter, Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday?

In a parallel universe, 

I'm there.

And we are laughing.

Oh we're laughing.

On another planet,

At another time,

I'm in your life,

And your in mine.

We are a family,

And we say I love you,

With honesty and care.

And as I sit here and write this,

It hurts you are not there.

A vacant text message,

Sent on a distant Christmas Day,

I don't even want that,

I want the occasional -

   "Are you OK?"

I'd tell you I'm fine,

But it would be a lie,

And I don't do that anymore,

So I'll tell you why.

I held her hand yesterday,

And on her shoulder I had a little cry,

Because days like Easter, Christmas, birthdays,

Aren't meant to just pass by.

I cried my heart out,

Completely lost control,

I let my tears run down,

I showed her a sneak peak of my soul.

She tells me I'm part of her life now,

And I don't need my past,

But it's a shadow on a sunny day,

That leaves my life always somehow overcast.

I'm 27 on the 27th of May,

And you won't be there for what is a special day.

I'm released from my sentence,

Which means I'm almost free,

From the court room, from the old me,

From the dishonesty.

It'll be a new day,

Where I get the real second chance,

To step into the sunlight,

No more fear of the night.

I was yours when I was 4 years old,

You got me the best birthday cake there ever was,

It was a Forever Friends bear, 

I've never quite forgot,

It was as big as me,

With a smile that could reach the moon.

Why does it feel like our life together,

Ended really much too soon.

It feels like someone died,

And that I'm somehow supposed to mourn,

Because you live your days,

Like I haven't even been born.

I was a flicker of your imagination,

Of a daydream you once had,

I'm the perfect little daughter,

And your my oh so proud dad.

Your my mummy,

And you love me,

And I try every day to make you proud,

It seems I'm too late in second chances,

Or at least I've used up all I had.

I work hard every day to make life great,

For me, for her, 

To make up for the time I've wasted,

For the life I threw away.

I secretly labour in your memory too,

That I'll achieve greatness,

You'll be proud,

You'll be happy,

You'll be back in my life,

And I'll be free.

Keeping my foot in the door,

So it never closes,

Is growing more tiresome everyday.

I know I promised to keep it open,

But my hope is ebbing away.

It's occasionally replaced with anger,

As I sit and wonder why,

I put myself through this.

All you do is make me cry.

You never got to know me,

You didn't want to try,

I was baggage and I was broken,
It was easier to hide.

Yet this heart wanders,

Upon a broken land.

That one day we'll meet in the middle.

And you will take my hand.

Until then Christmas will haunt me,

As our traditions become mine,
I'll put positives over negatives,

And move on over time.

She makes me stronger,

I feel like I could take on the world,
And I will.

And when I rule it,

We'll see who says Happy Easter, Merry Christmas, How are you today?

And I'll text back or I won't

Be either way,

I'm OK.